So, yesterday I was listening to my favorite song on the 1st Rascal Flatts cd...in the chorus it says "Tell me that you live for love......tell me that it's not just me." I got to thinking about it and in reality, don't we all live for love? In one way or another, we all want to be loved. Ever since I was a very little girl I have always wanted to make other people happy. So they would love me. I remember when my Dad would come home from work and I would take his boots off so he could relax in his chair, then as I got a little older I would bake goodies for my family and the kids in the neighborhood....in fact, I remember one day our neighbors from across the field coming over because they swore they could smell me baking brownies! Then, when I was in Jr High and my Mom had to go back to work, I learned how to cook, so when she got home from work she didn't have to worry about making dinner...I always had it ready, along with having the house clean. I remember how happy that made my parents and I remember how much I loved the feeling of knowing that I had pleased them. Now my sisters on the other hand, just thought I was a kiss up and they always hated it when we had a family council and I would be given more privelages then them. That is not why I did it though. I did it simply for the fact that I wanted to be loved. I know that my parents love me and that I did not NEED to do those things, but I guess I just needed to SEE their reactions...Anyway, I guess I have always lived to make others happy and to make others feel better when they have needed it. And I have NEVER wanted anything in return. That's not how I work. As I grew into an adult, I realized that being loved by my Heavenly Father was more important than baking brownies for the neighbors or being everyones shoulder to lean on.....But then I realized that Heavenly Father loves me BECAUSE of things like that. Now I have never been perfect and have for sure made my share of mistakes, but at that time in my life, I knew that I wanted an Eternal Family. I didn't think I deserved one, but I promised Heavenly Father that I would do the things he asked so that one day I could begin working towards my Eternal Family. Last night as we were putting Payson to bed, I sat him on my lap and we said "let's get ready for prayers." He sat up and folded his arms, and even though I am good at hiding it, a flood of emotions washed over me at that time. I have never felt more love from my Heavenly Father then at that moment. As I rocked Payson to sleep, I begin to think about all of my Blessings. I have always been blessed with GREAT friends. I have the best family in the world and we are all best friends! And in spite of my mistakes, Heavenly Father blessed me with the Greatest Husband! He is always there for me, he is patient with me, he always laughs with me, sometimes at me, but it's still fun, he would literally do anything for me, but best of all HE LOVES ME! And that's all that matters. And now that we have Payson, I realize that I live for the moments that I make them happy. Even if it's a simple thank you kiss from Shayne or a big excited laugh from Payson. I truly LIVE to be LOVED by them. They are the most important people in my life. I know that if I continue to do the things that please our Father in Heaven, then he will continue to bless me and my Family with more love than we can imagine. I admit it, I do live for love. I live to love and to be loved and that is what makes life so unbelieveably amazing!
Somehow this picture got out of order but it's Me, Payson, Em and Grandma Great at Casa Bonita!
This is the actual photo we had taken!
