Yep..It's one of those days

I swore I was not that girl and that it would never be me. I'm better than that. I'm stronger then that. I will keep my brave face on and continue to help everyone else and be happy while I do it, in spite of the pain my heart is going through. But I guess everyone is entitled to a day of wallowing right? Not me. Or so I thought. I am not here to complain by anymeans. I hate complainers and I have no right to complain about anything. Anyone who really knows Shayne and I knows that we are Best Friends, Soul Mates, Eternal Companions. We do everything together and share all of our secrets with each other. We love to stay up in bed laughing the night away..who cares how late it is or what time we have to wake up in the morning? We love doing spontaneous things, we love long car trips together, especially if we have great music that we can turn up and sing at the top of our lungs to. Who cares how we sound?! We love dancing together no matter how silly we look, thumbs up and all! ;) We love just being together even if we are both sitting on the couch reading a book. Bottome line, we are together. Like it or not, we are a package deal and that's how it will always be. And then I suddenly realized he has been gone nearly 8 months and it has been way too long since we have had the chance to enjoy any of those things. It hurts. Bad. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my Soldier and grateful for the blessings, the friends and the opportunities we would not have had otherwise that being in the Military has brought us. But this time that we have been apart has made me realize how much we have missed out on. How much he has missed, especially his little boy growing. Has it been worth it? I am not trying to offend anyone, but we are not lifers. We can't be. We are not cut out for this being apart business. We knew that the first Summer he left for training. I don't want to just get used to my Sweetheart being gone because that is part of life. I need him all the time. Is that too much to ask? I don't care if we have to go to living the poor life. It would be worth it to have him home all the time. I can hardly contain my excitement about him coming home for a visit in a couple weeks, but I can't help thinking that it is only for 15 days and it is gonna go by fast. I know I sound like a whiner but I know he feels the same way. We are supposed to be together and do things together all the time and I can't wait until the day he is 100% mine again. I just miss him. That's all.